Friday being valentine’s day, it seemed impossible not to weave the theme of romance into this week’s Friday Fictioneer challenge.
Go here to find out more about Rochelle Wishoff-fields and her Friday Fictioneers. Read all the other entries here. In brief, the challenge is to write a 100-word story with a beginning, middle and end inspired by a picture prompt. The restriction is strangely addictive! Here’s my story below:
They’re celebrating my exhibition in the gallery next door, laughing as they drink Zednya’s famous fruit punch. She’s skillfully showing the collectors around, telling them about each Memory Painting. How like apparitions, they flash into my mind when I’ve forgotten everything else, even my name. All I remember are those vivid images just before the explosion, tormenting until I finally release them onto canvas. Then they disappear, no longer troubling me.
Except this one.
Zednya believes she’s just another ghost from that time. Girl Unknown.
I think about her crushed strawberry lips. Wondering if she survived somehow, remembering her dress.
nina nakamura 
that is so cool lol 🙂 xp
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I love your story – it’s very mysterious and clever. I wonder if she did survive. Well written! Thanks, Nan
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Dear Nina,
Perhaps the Girl Unknown is the artist herself. Don’t you love the way we’re all retelling your story for you. But you left it wide open. 😉 Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle, I’m amused and amazed! 🙂
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Interesting how most readers identify the artist as a woman–I read it as a man. I agree with others, would make a good longer story.
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Yes, I was interested in that too – as I said, made me see my own story from a new angle. But you’re right. It was a man. Thanks for commenting!
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Hey, that’s a pretty cool! I like the subject matter here. Kind of WWII-esque. Great!
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Thanks. I’m fascinated by how differently people read the same thing – as I was writing it, it was kind of set in the future. Don’t know why. But I like your take on it.
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Could make a good full-blown story. These have the tendency to do that, ya know. 😉
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Good story and a good hook for a longer story. Well done. I hope she gets her memory back.
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There’s a memory that will survive forever.
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Interesting angle on the prompt.
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A beautiful story. I reminds me of the true story of Katie Dallam, an acquaintance of mine and the inspiration behind the short story “Million Dollar Baby.” More here: http://www.kdallam.com/
Kind regards,
MG
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Thank you for your comment Marie. And thank you too for that extraordinary story you’ve referred me to – I see how my story reminded you of it.
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She is an inspiring woman, and her sister is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. I wish more folks were as familiar with the real story as they are with “Million Dollar Baby.”
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she was probably the lone survivor.
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Interesting take on the prompt, art therapy. Wonder why she can’t forget this one, was this who she was before the explosion?
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Patti, you’ve given ME a new angle on my own story! 🙂
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Glad to help!
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You pack a lot of mystery into this story, nina, and I like the descriptions. I think there’s a comma missing on “How, like apparitions, …”
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Ha! Thanks very much for your comment and your point about the comma. You have no idea how much I wrestled with that very comma you mention! 🙂 (Well, looking at your own blog, I think you probably do! :-)) I debated having the “pauses” which 3 commas in a relatively short sentence would introduce, or having a more free-flowing sentence without losing the sense, and opted for the latter. But I’m open to re-considering!
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i know what you mean and I know I’m more pro-comma than some. Personally, I read ‘like apparitions’ as a sub cluase which therefore needs commas both sides, but if you want to minimise the commas, I’d go with ‘how llike apparitions:’ and make the how part of this clause. Then you’d only be left with one comma … And one, far more classy, colon! Just my 2p
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